Dreameryv2

March 13, 2010

T.V Cowgirl Dream, Horse and Dr. Phil.

In, I think, a much longer dream which I cannot recall all of. I was dressed in full cowgirl dress of a light color and a buck skin jacket with fringe on the bottom and trimmed in lovely bright shinny bead work, traditional to the American Southwest Indians. Also, a cowboy style hat. (I think of old black and white movies starring Dale Evans, and Roy Rogers, and particularly, how attractive she was in the theater posters which were in color. )

Some how I had a contract for a T.V. cowboy program. That for some reason I felt I had keep secret from my father. He doesn’t suspect me of any such arraignment because I would never in his opinion, be so un-lady like as to romp with cowboys, fight or ride a wild horse. Dr. Phil was there dressed in business suit and black Texas cowboy hat. (He was a producer more than a doctor of any kind.) He kept trying to get me to go on a black stallion. Finally, I consented. The horse was very restless and I had to tie a rope around my waist and to the saddle to stay on. I complained the scene would not photograph well, as this was too distressing. He insisted I go on as the script required as we had a schedule to meet. He was very persuasive and seemed to have a superior understanding of what was to happen next. For technical reasons, the scene was to be filmed in reverse order. I was to swing across a river to an island where the stallion was in a barn and get on it there.

I was to put a toothpick in the horse’s mouth and a wooden plug in his right ear when I completed the scene, at the end point, which when shown was to be the start point. This action was to guide the film editor where to cut and would not show in the final version. I protested this was too confusing, but Dr. Phil assured me it would come out right in the end.

However I was afraid the horse would bite me and I had on a pair of gloves. When I found out what I had to do I wanted to refuse, but told Dr. Phil I would rather do the fight scene with the two bad guys next in the script. He said it too late to do that. So I decided to ride the stallion, the two bad guys actors belonging to the next scene were there and helped me calm the horse. Then when I was midstream, the rapidly moving river nearly swept me off. I kept trying to hold on to it. I Finally made to the other side, where additional film crew people were shooting from there. My cowgirl costume was destroyed. I asked  for someone to help to dry the tired and frightened horse.

Dreameryv2

July 05, 2009

That I am a very sensitive person and over touchy about the smallest criticism comes though without much disguise. What then is it then that causes my dream process to displace it onto Jeanne and uncle Dan scenario, one which I so innocently find myself ought up in? What does it mean to me or to Jeanne that uncle Dan says he is responsible for her acting up? In real life, Dan is a straight shooter and O. K. father to Jeanne. My father left and disappeared from my life when I was in the 3rd grade.
#1

I am washing the dishes and asking my cousin Jeanne about someone who had gone. She was upset and didn’t answer - when I asked her again- uncle Dan yelled at me and said it was his fault and I shouldn’t ask her about it. I was crying and afraid to ask further, but did yell back saying,

“Can’t I just ask a question without being yelled at.”

This second dream below, gives me a sick feeling- Does it mean I harbor retaliatory hostilities to my now forever gone mother-Is that also the ‘gone one’ in the first dream? Mother, Father-both? Am I wishing for a someone to replace her and maybe him- in the image of a gentile person with a sense of humor?

#2
I dreamed I had a woman psychiatrist, whom I later relate as if being my Mother.

— after this I woke because of [something about her broken nose]

—I recall she was quite gentile and had sense of humor.

— (I wonder how the broken nose is connected with anything and I go back to sleep,)

#3 (Two nights later.)

I am easily embarrassed and pass up many opportunities to do things that would put me on display publicly. I have bungled most of my flirtation efforts with men. I often came away feeing I had made an ass of myself. Some guys handle this better than others, and make up excuses for me, few ever have come back for more of such ineptness. I think as child I knocked over my glasses of milk more than other kids did.

Is ‘the professor’ an an image contrasting to my failed aspects- ‘The other fellow’ an aspect of me trying to plan ahead, yet whose reserves are spilled and lost despite foresight that needs must be planned for ahead of time? Why the gray desk? What would it mean as a personal symbol? Does it mean I am only partway through my mourning for my mother?
I dreamed the professor asked me to hand him the water glasses on the desk, a gray desk - and as I did so, I kept spilling them, and became embarrassed then- as I handed them to him, it surprised me because he seemed capable of carrying all three at once, yet I had dropped them. Also there was a large jar of water that was spilled- I notice no one got angry with me. The desk and the water glasses belonged to some other fellow and the professor asked the fellow why he had set the jar of water there- as a reserve? The fellow said- yes.

Should you see things I missed or meaninful to yourself let me know–

Just put ‘Dreameryv2′- in the subject and send it to fateanalysisguy@gmail.com I would love to hear from you and to share dreams and self-analysis with you.

Your friend–

–Dreameryv2

Self-Analysis, (as a doctrine) is based on basic extractions from successive revisions of Freudian psychoanalysis. What was learned there is directly transferable to self-analysis practice. You, to self-analyze at a depth level, must grasp and follow the procedure with dedication. Dream analysis and sledge-hammer like free-association uncovers the mis-directing unconscious neurotic impulses and trends.