Photo form L. Szondi’s “Experimental Diagnostics of Drives” 1952 (c) Grune & Stratton, N.Y.

This is my Avartar, my user name is “Dreameryv2″ at Fateanalysis.com. I am taking this opportunity to tell you about where I am coming from as I take on the mind adventure of self-analysis.

WHY I Started My Self-Analysis. The maybe irrational reasons I started it.
The ideas I had formed over the years, mainly from movie versions of psychotherapists. Dramatically distorted to make some story work. I had come to see one one hand a fictional image of receiving hopeful understanding, forgiveness and painless repair. And on the other hand, there were images of crafty blackmailers, Svengali’s who took your very soul and used it for their own perverse desires. I had fears of things being dug from my lost memories such as mind-boggling sexual fantasies, traces of avarice and hatred, from when I did not get my way as a child. Also I, being for the most part a textbook example of normal-in my own opinion), feared being laughed at for even presenting myself for any sort of counseling or therapy. (I still feel this embarrassment at times.) I had over recent years read some introductory psychology books, including Dr. Phil McGraw’s book “SELF MATTERS”, Subtitled: ‘Creating Your Life from the Inside out –’ I really liked his book. I did his exercise and filled out the inventories that help you profile yourself. These were I felt advanced me in the direction I wanted to go. It was for me a very positive and valuable assistance, at the time. Later, still not totally satisfied, I came to believe his approach, so strictly cognitive and brief, omitted what it was I was yearning to explore in my self. The unconscious that my movie therapists were often referring to. The unconscious of Freud and Jung. Where dreams, fantasies, complexes, repression’s and aberrations are taken seriously. I am a prolific dreamer, I dream every night, I fantasize often, I have a over strong bond to my family, my aberrations are minor, but aberrations nevertheless. After some indecision’s and an internet search, I stumbled upon FateAnalysis.com where to my surprise, not only was the unconscious the regular focus, but how and why to self-analyze was developed with every new post and on the Blogroll there were links and pages, to other subject related Blogs, even free e-books. This content, and the security of being my very own analyst, made me feel at home on this site and I decided to do it. How to proceed?. I chose to approximate a classical Freudian psychoanalysis, couch, dreams and regular sessions. (You don’t have to go that far, maybe it’s my fantasy thing.) I felt, I could benefit from this more traditional psychoanalytic approach. This was not exactly a rational choice of course, I had seen and responded to this approach in several movies that I had seen. I recall, that at that time of seeing these movies, I had felt some envy and attraction to the thought of being psychoanalyzed by a male analyst. After seeing every episode of “The Sopranos”, I then begain to think maybe a female analyst would be better for me. Also I could not justify the expence and time costs of seeing a therapist professional. I had the feeling I would be laughed at, if the only reason I wanted to be analysed was- I wanted to explore me, as concieved in some old movies.

What the hell. I concluded. Let me try depth level self-analysis.