from: Mountain Software Writer//To fateanalysisguy@gmail.com
February….I’m back- I’ve covered approximate 20, 45 minute Self-Analysis sessions, thus sticking fairly close to my contract with myself. Reaching the depth level free association process described, as essential for self-analysis (as defined by Karen Horney) was not always possible for me in some sessions. In addition, I know I dream almost every night, but was able to capture in awareness and later write down only a couple each week. These were generally useful.. At the end of each session, I make a summary of anything that I can attribute to resistance or mood detection. . My method of doing so is partly based on my experience as a software writer, where at the end of writing several pages of code, I must run the code to discover what does not perform correctly, and locate what ever ‘bugs’ that caused it’s malfunctions. Some pages debug simply, others seem impossible and you know you have resistant work ahead of you. I ask myself how did this session go, and how do I feel about the section of code I am exploring. Is new code presenting itself and is the problem inherent in it do to the legacy code that rules over all subsequent code. Or later family set code? Just how neurotic does it make when aberrant unwanted code runs? Other may be more comfortable with different metaphors, but as they read this they can say to themselves-”How would I say something like that to myself?” and they will find their own way of talking to themselves without being considered crazy. The concept of resistance in my self-analysis (for me anyway) draws on this model. Some sessions I feel inclined to skip and ask myself if this self assigned ‘extra self torment’ is worth the effort. As no one waits for any answer. My friends and myself like me- (I think) more or less as I am? Is not this kind of thinking none other than ‘bugs’ in my brains software? And this not also resistance in my self analysis?. Some say self-analysis is impossible to do. I still want to try. Next time I will explain my use of the basic navigation system that shows me to what fate my drives are moving me.
—MOUNTAIN SOFTWARE WRITER GUY,
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